An AHA! Moment. Elder Abuse is Isolation. Removing pictures isolates.

Mom's repacking...again... Lawrence, her "imaginary husband" is in the hospital...again... but he's coming for her as soon as he gets out. 

Mom has no idea when that will be. So, she sits and waits and doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere because she often "misses" his visit if she isn't in her room.

Interesting, isn't it?  Ever visit someone in a facility? There's usually only so many places they can be and it's relatively easy to find them if you just ask on the floor, at reception or one of the attendants. 

But Mom was convinced, because she'd been told by the "sister" and "the woman who comes to visit" she'd missed "Larry's" visit, he couldn't find her or he left because he was upset when he didn't find her in her room.

THINK ABOUT THIS TACTIC.  The more immobile, the more sedentary, the more Mom doesn't participate, she's "signaling" the facility she may be in depression. What's the prescription for depression in facilities?  MEDICATION, OF COURSE.

Julia's a Nurse. She's specialized in care of the elderly. She knows if she can influence Mom and get her to appear to be "out of her mind" and "depressed" there will be a call placed to the Dr and a request for "meds".

Julia stirs Mom up and she tries to stir us up by creating these scenerios and conflict. Julia keeps trying but she's not succeeding because we're too vigilent and no matter how many calls to the Ombudsman's office or to the State of Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services do not serve to get Mom the protection from this Abuser, we will continue our vigilence to Mom's end of days.

Mom says, as she did when she said he was in for pneumonia and couldn't see her to get married (before they "tied the imaginary knot" I wrote about in an earlier entry), it's his first time ever to be hospitalized. 

Actually, it's at least his second or third time since this "storyline" started a few months ago but Mom's recall can only retain short term information without reinforcement for short times. This is another reason why we believe it's Undue Influence by Julia.

It's fascinating how some parts of Mom's delusions have repeatable patterns while others are whole new stories so full of information and development you'd think you were watching or listening to a Soap Opera.

Fascinating because there are no reports anywhere about this type of Dementia hallucinations or delusions where storylines develop and dialogue is so abundant among the characters.

Interesting, too, how the focus is on Mom getting money to pay for things or having to have her Social Security card and photo ID for some "legal problem". She didn't need these documents to get married, but she now needs it because the "baby" is in the US illegally -- the "imaginary" baby adopted by Lawrence?

You'd think it would be Lawrence's problem; guess Julia forgot how she set up that scenerio originally.

Today, however, a new light came on in my brain about this "storyline" and I see more clearly how Julia  is using it to abuse Mom with more Undue Influence.

Abuse that includes the constant disappointment when Larry doesn't come to visit, is delayed yet again in "taking her out of the SNC" by hospitalization and ever on going challenges that get invented along the way.

There's more. Directed at my daughter and me specifically. We're her targets as much as Mom is.

As I looked through what Mom kept packed I noticed all the family pictures were placed inside a box. Out of sight. Ready to go. Cherished but unseen.

Get Mom to believe she's constantly moving out of the SNC and she keeps the pictures packed away; family pictures.

Forget about your "real" family, Mom, Julia seems to be saying; you'll have a better family with your imaginary husband, his mother and the baby; oh, and the "sister" who so conveniently is always in the picture.

Alz and Dementia resources recommend placing pictures in the room. Julia knows they serve a positive purpose until the last stages and she knows removing them may cause further mental degradation.

Julia's tried to abuse Mom through convincing her she's far more capable physically than she is; many of Mom's falls and Mom's dislike of the SNC facility and her caregivers seem to coincide with visits from Julia and remind me of Mom's negative feelings towards my daughter and me after Julia entered our lives.

Also, keeping Mom focused on this "plotline"causes her to believe each day Lawrence is coming for her and so she can't possibly do any activities, leave her room for long and has even not gone down to meals unless we're there and work with her to get her to go. 

ISOLATION.  REMOVAL FROM REALITY.  CONTROL.

ELDER ABUSE.  One of the characteristics is isolating or separating the person.

Julia can't remove my daughter and me; she's tried for three years.

We're three generations that can't be pulled apart and Julia has tried numerous ways; all skirting or twisting the laws.

I believe it was Disney's Jimney Cricket who said "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes". For Mom, her dreams have been set in place, refocused and manipulated to provide at the least entertainment for a woman who walks into and out of Mom's life leaving behind chaos and destruction for Mom and our family. Why? You'll have to ask Julia.

We're wiser now, Julia.  We see you for who and what you are.  We've told others and now we're finding others to warn because you and what you do are going to become a major threat to our society and economy as our aging population grows.  Your removal of cash and assets from the pockets of those who are living longer and more in need means they'll need Medicaid or other charitable assistance much sooner than they should.

Each month Mom's facility gets over $5,000 from Medicaid for her care.  It'll soon be three years.  Mom didn't need the SNC and with the right help from good professionals, she probably could have ended her days in her home, with her family, where until Julia came into her life and worked to convince her she didn't belong, was where she wanted to be.

Reports are rampant about the high cost of Medicaid but no one seems interested in the high cost of Undue Influence and taking money from our Seniors at a time when they're the most in need of what they've managed to save or put away. 

Wake Up America!  Realize until you advocate for our Elderly and recognize Elder Abuse in all its forms, the "real" Elder Abusers will continue to wreck economic havoc on our Seniors and all generations who take on the burden imposed by the financial hardships of Undue Influence.