January 10, 2014: In Memoriam: Life's End Here & Now

I've tried several times since Mom's passing to write a few words. I thought about many things as they happened and made notes but couldn't bring myself to put my hands on a keyboard and make an entry.


It's still so new and I know from my passage through this time three years ago there is no definitive way to mourn, no specific time period for its beginning or its end and no real way to predict how I will walk or even run through this bittersweet time.


It's difficult, too, because Mom passed on the third anniversary of the day we buried my husband.


I just knew it would be that day. When she didn't pass on Christmas Eve and when there were varying signs of changes I now see as signaling the end was very soon, I felt it would be that day, that singular day, she would leave us.


There is still much to be written; more to share. I'm gathering the courage to restart my writings and work to make a difference.


I still believe if we'd had more knowledge of Lewy Body Dementia, more recognition of the disease by those with whom we came in contact from November of 2010 until those days when she left this world, her life struggling with LBD, our life together, whether in our home or elsewhere, would have been more memorable for the positives rather than the negatives.


If we can make a difference in someone else's journey on this road with Lewy Body Dementia, with ageing and with Undue Influence and Elder Abuse and Neglect, we will have made a difference and honored Mom's life.


Time will begin to heal our sorrow but only change in the system of how we care for and about our most vulnerable members of society, our aged, remains my focus and my purpose for those who are now and those who will come to be dependent on others for their daily lives.


I will write more again. It's still too difficult. I struggle daily with other challenges that have continued since my husband's death of simply putting food on our table and keeping a roof over our heads along with my daughter's daily contributions to this focus.


RIP, Mama; you were my first best friend and thankfully we rebuilt this friendship to what it had been for decades before Julia came into our lives.


We continue, your only grand-daughter and I, to follow your lead.


Now I've been moved to the front of the line in the mother/daughter relationship.


I will try to place my feet to follow well in your footsteps.


I truly cannot thank you enough for all you've given me, for all in me that came from your examples and your choices in life.


You're home now, Mama.


You travelled the world and you began your greatest journey Friday, January 10, 2014.


Your life will be a lamp unto my feet to spread across the world bringing knowledge about life, love and understanding Lewy Body Dementia and other issues of ageing and family.