Sunday, April 26, 2015

Low Tolerance And A Boiling Point Developing?

Another one of my "long ago" started entries that I decided, for whatever reason at the time, to pass over, move on and yet keep...for the future.

The future is today.  This was started in April 2015. Fast forward to today, October, 2019. Over four years. So much has happened including moving out of the depths of rationing and feeling like I really had "something" when I had a quarter in my hand -- a dollar.....well, that was wealthy.

A hiccup in life. We didn't know it wouldn't last. We were uncertain as to how we would move from day to day and sometimes within a day -- to find the ability to add a few gallons to the gas tank of a car we were given by a wonderful member of our extended family.

FAMILY.  That's another entry. There's a world of difference -- the here and now and the ever after--in that word. I turn away from those who define "family" as any related group of people. I've learned how blood does not a family make; life lived for family is what differentiates.

TOLERANCE.  We talk the talk but don't walk the walk when it comes to those who are "ahead of us" on life's path by two or more decades.

TV personalities and others -- especially those hitting the marks of being in their 50's 60's and 70's and well beyond, talk about how "young" they believe these ages now are.

OBVIOUSLY.  They made it...they're now a part of this segment of the population. Whenever you're "a member" of something you see and react differently; some turn away, some move away and some stand up and "shout out" raising a new found voice for "their" cause.

Makeup, clothing and healthy living have made significant changes in our appearance, that's true.

These are the fortunate few -- for however long it continues, that is. They escape the intolerance today's society has for the aging and the aged.

It's all about space. Not just a position or job but "being there" at all that's becoming questionable for some very vocal people.

I mentioned the intolerance in my daughter's "class" for a member in their 70's learning new skillsets; highly capable, very active and "hand picked" for the program going up against many decades younger, he's proving age should not be seen as an obstacle and how important it is to challenge the mind at any age.

Well, he was told the other day not to expect assistance getting a job after the program completed. Really? This was the intent and purpose of the program when he began. There was no "segregation" of him from the other participants; he was in the classroom daily and his work while perhaps slower in productivity than some was still keeping pace with several of the "youngest" students.

Now, as the program hits its mid way point, he's told not to expect "assistance" with what the program was designed for -- what the program promotes far and wide to individuals in high positions as a "model program"?


That should be the mantra of the program "designers" and they should not keep moving in other directions, expanding into other locations both local and elsewhere, if they cannot provide what they tell others they can -- an education at a level "anyone" can master to the point of getting gainful employment.

Does that constitute bait and switch or is it false, misleading and deceptive advertising or what?????

This program promotes having found hundreds of jobs in the first year of its existence. And, in fact, advertises having had students in their late fifties in the past. 

What about the guy in the class in his mid 50's? Why isn't he being advised the same? 

I have low tolerance for Ageism. Always have. Even when I was in my twenties I did not understand "setting people aside" or "moving them out" which was a practice at the time.

I'd recommend this gentleman look into employment with Not For Profits who cannot afford the high salaries corporations can afford and would welcome his stability and his dedication. He has nothing to prove; he has no "career" to create. He's proven himself ten times over and has the professional credentials to prove it. 

Everyone seems to believe you "arrive" in your later years well prepared for a "retirement" where you call the shots, you make the moves and you "enjoy" life.

Doesn't always happen. Life happens. So is this man simply to turn loose, to turn over and to step aside just because the clock kept ticking and he's moved beyond "acceptable" marks on a calendar?

I understand. I've seen the PREJUDICES of decades: RACE, GENDER, INCOME.  They're not new. They're just more abundant and capable.

In the 60's, the saying was "Don't trust anyone over 30".

Think about that, all you Millennials who are in your mid to late twenties and especially you Gen Xers who are well into that age group and beyond -- into your 40's!

You believe you’re “King of the Hill” (not the TV show; an old game) but you’re simply another link in the chain of “getting older” and seen as someone to ignore, to set aside and above all, to tolerate for a little longer until you can be “shelved” or “placed somewhere” generally out of sight and out of mind.

Not all think this way, but many do and those who are aging contemplate “having to move on” into a “retirement community” so as not to be a “burden” to family.

AGEISM. It's been around for a very long time. As a fad and as a detriment to society; an immature reaction to anyone or anything not wanted or seen as "old fashioned" or “not one of US”.

AND, FROM BASIC SURVIVAL AND OTHER GREATER CONCERNS GENERATED BY FEAR AT HOME AND ABROAD. Where are all the jobs supposed to come from to support the young, the aging and the older populations -- and an even more important question, how long will they remain?

For the Baby Boomers, "moving on" was a rite of passage and our economy was booming – not just the population. WE NEEDED AND CREATED more jobs and more opportunities for advancement.

The Space Race.  Business Expansion Abroad. We saw life as a never ending "pot of gold" beyond our borders where everything we had, everybody else wanted and "we" would be the ones to provide it for them. 

Women were on the move; they'd experience a "glass ceiling" but at least they were "out and about" and not stuck behind a wringer washer and old sayings about what day it was and what they were supposed to do (Monday washing clothes, Tuesday ironing, etc.)

How naive we were not to see other societies also wanted to be self determining, self sufficient and capable of providing for themselves while wanting to enter into the "competitive" arena and reap the rewards for themselves.

Many "pushed" their kids: first through college and then into homes of their own (or at least apartments). Baby Boomers were referred to as the first "helicopter parents" -- always there, hovering around and "becoming closely involved" in their children's lives.

Could this have been a reaction to the fact many of the Baby Boomer's parents were literally pushed out the door at young ages, most of them, to provide for themselves and to send money home to care for siblings and parents. Or, they were kept at home, the girls/women, to care for siblings in large families until the "chain of command" passed to another sibling who was "old enough" to take over.

Was it this "fear" of taking care of an extended family that put so many aging parents into residential homes or just the many children who moved away, moved on to other spaces and places, lost touch except by "snail mail" or "long distance" calls?

Times were "good" but they were challenging; few talk about the economic crisis we endured about every ten years and the loses to savings and income.

Each generation focuses on their own "problems" or what they see as problems and seldom looks back -- could it be out of fear of "repetition" if we acknowledge the facts of life and living?

Our economy needed the support of more and more independent living situations. Each newly created "household" was important to keep the manufacturing/ economy wheels turning.

Then, we became a consumptive economy, an economy that created obsolescence built in and "teased" us with more and newer possibilities for the same items we'd purchased just a few months or years before.

The mass exodus to Suburbia began after the Korean War when "Levitt Towns" sprung up around major cities. By the 1970's, the "move out" was in full swing bolstered by the Baby Boomers who were married/marrying and starting families of their own.

In the 50's and into the early 60's, marriage was still actively happening right after high school; by the late 60's and into the 70's, it was right after college. The "pill" was just becoming a mainstay of family life and so couples could wait and somewhat plan their families including the size of their "group".

Suburban lifestyle began with the increased use of cars and the elimination of mass transportation has brought on the separation of generations and the negative views of aging, in my opinion. 

We build Suburban housing in areas where we fail to include anything within real walking distance. We see no need for sidewalks and have no desire to "subsidize" or plan for mass transit including the kind that runs on rails or wheels.

SEPARATION. ISOLATION.  It began years ago and now we support this practice pushing our Seniors into "retirement communities" and into "Care Giving" communities where we seldom see them, know little about their daily lives or needs and depend on others to provide them and us with any and all “needs” -- including information and services.

WE TAKE AWAY MOVEMENT. WE TAKE AWAY SELF DETERMINATION.  We believe it's for "their own good"; to "protect them from harming themselves".

We go so far as to place them in "locked units" and "caretakers" (can't bear to call them care givers as they act more like someone taking care of a house or lawn) -- provide "services" when THEY believe there's a need.

SO, is this NEW educational concept joining in with the movement so prevalent in society to cast aside when they feel like it anyone whom they see as a challenge to their "system"?  

For me, I believe we work together; we help one another; we share and we care. It's the basis of a sound and healthy society and economy. 

Take note, Gen X'ers and Millenials or when your walk into the twilight years begins -- at 30 and beyond according to generations before you -- your lives will be even more challenging because you failed, failed to heed the warning that you are next in line in a progression of Ageism Prejudice.

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