Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Multi Generational Living Makes Cents

The news is full of articles on Millennials who were "forced" to live "with their parents" during the Economic Recession and the many who are still adding to the statistics of remaining "at home".

What was common practice in the last century and with many cultures, ages and stages of life under one roof, has become "abnormal" in our consumer oriented society that believes debt is a way of life -- multi-generational living.

Daughter and I live together; my mother lived with us. Both times it has been far more reasonable, realistic and advantageous a lifestyle than living apart.

We are separately quite capable of surviving and thriving but together we accomplish and achieve more plus we have the added values minus the huge cost of separation simply for the benefit of others.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade is an old saying. Why not enjoy life, share it with those you love and together build a better life than you could possibly have separately?

If I had a "live in significant other" that would be fine with the general society today.

If daugher had a "roommate" of a similar age no one would care.

Just because we happen to be related, enjoy one another's company and provide a mutually beneficial lifestyle to ourselves and one another we should live separately? 

It makes both good common sense to live together as we do and is financially responsible -- who cares what others think!

Society seems to think if you can't "make it" on your own, you aren't capable.

Quite the contrary, merging the lives of highly capable people benefits society far more than the struggles encountered by so many who "for appearances sake" move out, move away and move from job to job, often "take on" someone else with whom they struggle and eventually separate -- all in the name of  doing what is "expected" by people who really don't get involved, certainly don't want to have to support and actually have no vested interest in what lifestyle is practiced.

WE TOLERATE MANY LIFESTYLES IN THIS 21ST CENTURY BUT WE STILL CANNOT, IN THE UNITED STATES, BRING OURSELVES TO VALUE MULTI GENERATIONAL LIVING.

I watch as other cultures, much older and wiser than we, understand the true meaning of family, of caring for and about those who have given us life and love. 

We . . . move them out of their homes, into apartments or "Independent Living" then "Assisted Living" and finally, "Long Term Care".

We . . . see sharing a life together as "imposing" or "giving up privacy" or "becoming a burden".

We ... feel struggling to survive is a "right of passage" no matter your age.

We .... see those who share lives as "not being capable" and/or "failing to prepare for the future".

NONSENSE.  Life happens. 

We chose this lifestyle to accomodate Mom's need at a younger age than we would have because she had an accident that prevented her from continuing in her profession.

She did return to it for a while, when she lived with us, and I was relieved she no longer had "to depend" on what she could produce to make it from day to day. 

She deserved a life that was better than that. And we, through opening our hearts and our home learned the values we practice today.

For our family, we assimilate members into a unit strengthened by love, built on a foundation of trust and understanding and supported by providing each person with dignity, meaning and a feeling of positive contribution.

I moved out of my mother's home into a life with a husband and we followed the path of starting a family. I admit, it wasn't our thought we'd be a multi-generational family. 

Most young people in their twenties wear blinders on so many things in life while they tell themselves how much they believe they see and understand.

Looking back I have no regrets. Yes, there were adjustments. There are adjustments now. But Mom's life was far better than it would have been and so was ours. 

Mom was active, involved and led a life of choice rather than a life of servitude to the almighty dollar and the passing of time. 

She had a home, in a house, with her own room and her own possessions. 

She had freedoms and daily chosen responsibilities. 

Mom felt valued, needed, useful and capable.

Yes, there were adjustments. There were compromises. But we all gained and we all benefited.

Look down on us and any who strengthen their lives with being what some consider an "unconventional family unit" and you practice a form of discrimination. 

Believe any one of our family unit has "taken advantage" or been "taken advantage of" and you have closed your eyes, your ears and your heart to understanding a family unit has many definitions and compositions in the 21st Century.

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