Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Behaviours and Physical Changes: Is Mom's LBD Advancing?

Mom definitely needs something to do other than just sit in her room. 

Her mind continues to go back to believing she's leaving the facility to live in a house provided by her "husband"; although these days it's not quite clear if they're still married, Mom's gotten a divorce or he just decided to give her the house and went somewhere else. This is Mom's "imaginary husband"; her one and only husband passed decades ago and did not have the same name.

Again, the longer the time frame between visits from her undue influencer, Julia, the less we hear about Lawrence. 

Then when Julia comes to visit, the scenario shifts, changes with additions and variations:  Mom's pregnant, it's a boy, "he" will be so proud as he's always wanted a son, it's a girl, a second girl (I'm the one, the only, the girl, the daughter, the real one, that is).

This delusion is very complicated and as I've mentioned before I'm of the belief it's one that's been instigated by Julia, the woman who continues to visit Mom and each time she does we see marked changes in Mom's behavior and in what she "believes" is "real". 

Also, all my Internet searching and asking people who caregive for someone with LBD, the hallucinations and delusions are not "Soap Operas" changing and expanding in storyline like Mom's are doing.

HOWEVER:  If anyone reading this has a mother, daughter or other loved one or cares for someone with LBD or Dementia and is experiencing similar "soap opera" hallucinations or delusions, please add a comment and share what you're experiencing. 

Mom can't remember her "husband's" name after time passes and/or Julia hasn't visited for a while. But after Julia visits, Mom gets new ideas about her marriage including the most recent one of her being pregnant. Yes, pregnant at age almost 99.  When asked, she'll tell you of course it's possible because she's married and that's what can happen when you're married.

While that concept could be a stored memory, other details seem definitely "planted":  how she'll be able to carry the baby even at her advanced age because she's been checked by a "female Doctor" who said they have things they can do for her and give her to help her keep the pregnancy.

There's that "female" figure, again.  SHE always plays a part in Mom's hallucinations and delusions that involve the "marriage" and "the pregnancy". 

Oh, and another scenario has come up and has changed again but is still based on information from before Mom "got married". Mom is going to work! Yes, and it's now in a little town she knows very well. They've put a "Houska" (one of Mom's aphasia words she knows what she means but no one else does) there and now she'll be able to support the baby. Guess that means Lawrence is out of the picture?????

Most importantly:  Lawrence was not someone Mom talked about or thought about. Except for a brief time period of about two weeks when she was around sixteen or seventeen visiting her brother and his wife in Detroit from her small rural Illinois home, she hasn't heard from a man with that name or seen him and that's about 80 years! Looking up the name on the web, it appears he passed many years ago.

Mom most probably did talk with Julia about Lawrence when Julia took Mom out for the two hour "visits" she used to make with her while Mom was living in our home.  After all, for a total from February through October 2010 of almost forty hours spent together in two hour segments, there was no shopping, activities or events attended, all they did was sit and talk, so Julia was able to gather a great deal of personal information about Mom's life over the years.

The average person can carry on a conversation about a great many things in that period of time but a very elderly person is more easily led to talk about "the past" and especially "their past".  

As I've said, anyone who could deceive me as well as Julia did and get my Mom to believe she wanted to move out of the home she lived in with our family for almost four decades, is quite the manipulator and controller.

I'd arrived at the facility to find all Mom's clothes folded and stacked on her bed along with a few other items. 

She's had a box packed with some other items for many weeks as she went through other times waiting to "move out". 

What's challenging is Mom folds the clean and the dirty clothing together so I try to sort through everything. In times past, she's told me not to do that; to leave it be; she wants it there, and I do. 

This time, though, she sees what I'm doing but doesn't question my rehanging and sorting. Should I be concerned? Is this an advancement? Could it be the UTI she's been treated for or the now prevalent, floor wide respiratory infection going around?  Mom's coughing so I'll go for the latter.

Mom was in her lift chair when I arrived; she must have been in her wheelchair when she folded all the clothing. She couldn't reach the bed from her chair to do that work.

Someone had to move her because she can no longer move herself. There was a horrible smell and Mom said she needed to go to the bathroom. She didn't realize she'd already went and apparently more than once and had both urinary and fecal incontinence. It was so bad her paper pants were in pieces all over the chair.

How that happened I can't begin to imagine as she was wearing slacks, a shirt and a jacket. Someone failed to check her like they're supposed to. 

She often doesn't realize any longer when she needs to use the bathroom and I've found her like this several times in the past few weeks. I try to get the staff to adjust to her changing needs but it's often like talking to a wall. 

It sounds terrible, but the fact she often doesn't realize what's happened is a blessing; she'd be so concerned if she did realize. Not sure if this is a permanent or temporary development; you're never sure with Lewy Body Dementia.

It's either amazing or a result of another conversation during a visit with Julia about "moving out" of her current facility, but Mom cannot remember what day it is or what month most of the time but she seems to know it's the end of another month and she has to move out so she won't be charged and will get to have her Social Security money to spend on what she wants rather than go to pay for the place where she doesn't want to stay. 

Mom seldom talks about money but it seems like after Julia visits, Mom focuses on having money, using money, getting money and sometimes on paying for something she "thinks" she wants or needs (like the dresses for her "wedding").

Mom added to this scenario a few days ago by telling me she'd been to the bank and deposited her check and got some money out, a few dollars. Of course, she hadn't; she can barely stand right now;  this is most likely a memory of the time she and Julia went to the bank, that fateful October 26, 2010, when Julia without our knowing took Mom and opened a safety deposit box keeping both the keys and not letting any family member know. The day she had Mom take money out of our home, money we'd set aside for Mom's burial or other needs.

Why does Julia continue to visit Mom?  Julia says Mom is her "friend".  Julia's in her fifties and Mom is in her late nineties; Julia never attempted to be my friend and I'm more of a contemporary with a daughter the age of her daughter. 

Julia has made every effort not to have any type of relationship with me or my daughter. Julia has purposely and intentionally visited Mom at times she knows we won't be there and if we do come in contact she doesn't speak to us except to say it's her "private time" to visit with Mom.

LBD doesn't progress like Alzheimer's; often various cognitive functionality remains. Is Julia afraid Mom will recall totally what happened and put together the pieces of her missing Social Security money and how Julia was the one and only person who had access to it besides Mom?

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