Saturday, April 19, 2025

Mom Lived Four Plus Decades With Us

I smile and even laugh today; 

back then it was confusing,
even upsetting to listen and watch; 
we did not understand 
this was her brain 
trying to express, 
sort through & communicate.

Now, I realize it was a sign of Dementia

Words were inserted into sentences 
as though they belong in a specific place 
and have a specific meaning.
 
It's not random; 
it's as though the brain 
is simply substituting.

I often read about other LBD people
who've been highly productive, 
intelligent and involved in life.

I wonder if having an active 
and capable brain causes 
the long roller coaster ride?

Until it finally totally 
engulfs and destroys --
often in the very last breaths of life.

My oldest son believed 
I was keeping Mom 
from talking with him.
 
Hundreds of miles away, 
no "Zoom" back then.

A Cell Phone
was "new" to Mom.
 
She would press buttons 
ending conversations .

Mom's hearing was 
in the process of change.

Common, we're told,
as the brain and ears
work with one another.


Those who live long distances 
from someone with Dementia,
who do not have personal interaction, 
often blame those who caregive, 
for creating many negative actions.

The phone was small. 
Coordination was needed.
She'd used a dial phone.
This was smaller and had no cord.

Her brain did not know up or down.
She'd constantly turn it round & round.

My oldest son claimed 
we "took away" 
his Grandmother's phone 
and wouldn't let him talk with her.
 
Far from the truth.

We had no cell phones like today.
No way to see the other person.

Mom's challenging vision,
Blind in one eye,
Was not a challenge 
With "old style phones".

Time passed.
If she was in the room 
and the room phone 
was allowed to ring many times, 
she didn't know to pick it up.

To watch someone you love
Walk down this path,
The Hurt deepens.
When others accuse you wrongly,
The pain never stops.

When daughter or I called, 
we thought she wasn't in her room, 
perhaps too far away, 
in the bathroom, for example.

We thought of "Mom", "Grandma",
as she had been for so many years.
She was soon to be 100 when she passed.

We see with our heart
We tell our hearts to adjust.
Aging can be hard to manage.
When someone you love is involved.

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