Sunday, August 27, 2017

The Hereafter: A Talk About AARP & All Ages

Daughter and I have had several discussions about THE HEREAFTER.  

Not THAT "hereafter", the one that comes day by day, sneaks up on you and suddenly plunges you into  the "Big One" -- Advanced Age & It's Challenges.

And, most importantly, what do we do, what do "I" do, will decisions today be valid ten or more years from now?

How do I decide when to say "when" or "enough is enough" if I'm able and how can I give my daughter the confidence and knowledge while keeping with MY desires, my wants and my needs?

Maybe you've been with a friend or relative and heard "the talk". 

The one about "what are we going to do about Mom, Dad, Aunt Mary who never married and has no children .....

There are old wives tales shared about "the elderly" and whispers and sometimes a comment form a son or daughter announcing they HAVE to take care of MOM, DAD, AUNT, UNCLE or OTHER and just don't know what to do, don't know what to say and most of all don't really want... THE JOB OF CAREGIVER.

Life is interrupted when you have your first child. Ask any new parent. It's changed .... forever.

When you care for a loved one who has a critical illness or who has reached an age/stage where more immediate supervision and oversight are needed or even just checking to ensure "certain things" aren't overlooked -- your life changes according to the amount of time and caregiving you have to/need to do.

Doesn't matter how many "children" there are to "care give" and how the tasks are "split up". 

There is almost always some level of resentment, some level of feeling taken advantage of and some level of wishing "it would all be over" sooner rather than later because life doesn't prepare us and we can't anticipate the unexpected. 

It might not be constant, it may not be consistent but adjusting, negotiating with "your" immediate family members while negotiating with your "previous immediate family members" is another "to do" in a life usually filled with kids, school, activities, appointments, work, responsibilities and trying to carve out a little "life" for YOU.

IF ONLY.  If only we shared with one another more directly what care giving is, how and where EXACTLY to look for help and if it were as easy as finding where you take your driver's license exam.

Yes, there are organizations. Been there. Done that. Did that.

Most are directed to specific areas of support, concern or medical afflictions. 

They try to help with pamphlets and books and even with "counseling" but they aren't the ones "in the trenches" and getting all this information at a critical time when decisions and plans need to be made IS NOT THE BEST PLANNING, NOT THE BEST TIMING AND NOT THE BEST LIFE TO LIVE FOR ANYONE.

MAKE TIME.   TAKE TIME.   LEARN AND TEACH your children and others to look for information and plan for aging as much as they're being directed to plan for Retirement with savings and legal directives.

You're never to young to go out on AARP's website.

It has a wealth of information on aging and MORE --

Remember, we all need to be interested in legislation, research and protecting all ages and stages of life!

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