Personality Change With LBD

Lewy Body Dementia is a very clever disease.

It seems to "wait in the wings", on "the sidelines", giving direction and coaching in the beginning.

As the disease progresses, it begins to become the lead player, replacing the person with its own persona.

Taking over. Becoming someone "different" to the world. 
Being seen in its full regalia, finally, by those who care give, those who care about, and those who have the responsibility they've taken on as "Care Giver".

A fellow traveler walking alongside and sometimes running to catch up with the changes, the differences, the needs of Lewy Body Dementia.

Life is Reality when you are fully involved; it's unreal when you choose to put yourself in another place and time.

You, there! 

Who sit in judgment, believe you "know what's best" . . .  

Hand out, reaching in other pockets, always "in need".

Turning your back when others could use your support.

Where are you? On the sidelines? Living far away? 

How often do you visit, make time to stay with a person with Dementia and provide a "break' to the caregiver to sleep, read, go somewhere to walk, exercise or have lunch with a friend.

Tearing apart, blaming, accusing, believing "they" are the cause and not a medical condition with no side path just a road of unknown length and challenges.

Questioning even criticizing telling the person trying night and day to cope, to manage, to ensure safety and well being . . . 

You DEMAND and you ASSERT from your safe and separated "living arrangements". You may even "make a trip" to visit shunning spending time finding ways to really help, maybe delivering a "special photo album" but never coming alongside or offering "respite" by ensuring a break for the real caregiver(s).

Separating yourself rather than coming alongside?

It's far easier to push and shove the "caregiver" around and  always finding fault than to actually participate and give support.

It's never right, never enough and always used to strike out when support and consideration, appreciation are needed.

For years you've turned your back or at least "let another or others" do all the "dirty work" involved in caregiving, walking away, only reaching out when you believed there was "something you could get", you punished anyone who would not give in to your "me centered" demands.

You tear apart the primary "caregiver". Refuse to recognize a person can have Dementia and has had it for some time.

You can't recognize real Elder Abuse -- it's far easier to blame a family member than an "outsider".

You demand and accuse -- so you can feel "excused".

Reality Checklist:

Those who care give for a family member with Dementia face daily mental and physical challenges, illnesses and afflictions.

They stand alone while standing beside and walking along their loved one's winding, steep, and ever changing paths.

Struggling through the present into the unknown of the future,

there is no specific direction and often no markers or guideposts that apply.

You who attack, you who blame and strike out verbally cannot accept there are life changes you cannot control. 

You hold everyone but yourself responsible and accountable to a standard beyond their ability to provide.

You refuse to accept change, believe you can erase the present while not seeing the future if you discredit the past.

You refuse to listen, to become involved or want to take over "from a distance" because your time is so valuable.

It's "their" challenge, "their" problem . . .  if any problems really do exist, you tell yourself.

You twist and turn reality without spending real time with the person who needs the care, without being supportive choosing to attack, criticize and blame.

You visit,  for a short time. You leave. You may be close by or hundreds of miles away from the day to day and the constant fluctuations of a disease you will not recognize or believe is there and another lives daily with the ever changing challenges.

You do not tend constantly to the person's physical and emotional needs and the few telephone conversations you have you write off any "challenges" to poor transmission, the person's "hearing", or any one of a number of possible excuses.

You see the past, not the present. 

You cannot cope with reality. 

You create what you need, what you can accept.

Love is blind, so they say. So is fear of loss.

All forms of Dementia including Lewy Body Dementia wear many masks, playing many parts as it moves through the brain and the body causing challenges and removing abilities.

As a society, We do not "connect the dots". We see TIA's, high blood pressure, falls and other "signs" as not being a part of the process of LBD and other Dementia. 

Wake up, get up, take action, advocate, above all realize 

Dementias, especially those less known like LBD, are a

thief in the night we allow to ravage & control when we do not recognize their abilities to tear people, families apart.