Father's Day 2023; Wish You Were Near

I'm always amazed when people, especially men, ask me why I didn't marry again after my husband passed as I wasn't "that old" AND "life goes on".

To be honest, I'd found my life's love at 18 and a freshman in college and although perhaps he wasn't as certain as I was, and it took him four plus years and an ultimatum, to move down the aisle, we were meant to be, bringing two sons and finally a daughter into the world, now grown and two with some very "grown children" of their own. 

We met when I was a Freshman and he a second semester Sophomore. He was four years older, had left college, entered the Air Force and then became a member of the Air Force Reserve. It was a time of conflict in another part of the world. He served in Forward Air Control and continued in Reserve Service even after we married.

We had hardships and celebrations -- typical life together. 

We experienced journeys and challenges, always together and always looking onward and ahead of those times to what could be ahead.

Know not everyone can turn the pages in the book of life and see past the challenges, the downturns, the trying times physically and emotionally, to see creating a life together was a craft, a skillset you work together on to start and . . . to finish.

The "hole" has become the "whole" as it's been more than a decade with many life's challenges and changes -- just as "we'd" experienced before "I" experience as "me" rather than "we".

Learned a lot. Forgot a lot. Set aside and reached for more of some.

Memories of past Father's Days spent with your Dad and other family members -- and your Grandfather who we had with us and we introduced to our first child, his great grandchild -- he left us many years ago and his son, your father, went before you by a decade.

Family gatherings. Laughter. Joy. Sharing and caring. What happened to the real meaning of family where people admitted their mistakes and talked through the challenges and the heartaches caused?

Perhaps the difference was . . .  "we" . . . moving down the road to replace those who went before, felt an obligation towards them, while some of our children feel a need to "replace" rather than add to family structure.

Thunder outside. Rain earlier. Watched the geese on the lake. Told the cat it wasn't a good time to go outside and play, as she so loves, in the fenced garden. 

The tree from the sapling, so slender and short, now towers above us and our arms are not able to join two people around its trunk as we could just a few years ago -- or so it seems.  

Your father cut off a three foot long scrawny limb, put it in water, we watched it start roots, and I marveled at its strength, beauty and tenaciousness as we'd seen the "parent" tree survive one of the worst local tornadoes that came through our metro area a few years before our marriage.

Do I still think of you? Yes, often. 

When there is parting it simply means a part of you changes just as flowers and trees change from season to season, so does love and life.

Our children are grown. 

I feel there are many years ahead for me to share with them and their children even though two of the three are many miles away.

How I wish it were "we" instead of just "me". 

Time seems to move differently yet similarly and that's so strange when I think about it. 

Happy Father's Day and to you are reading this and have people in your life you lovingly call "family", cherish those who are here or there, with you, or far away. 

Memories are place holders in life. 

Create many and set aside those that cause disruption as they have far less value when viewed as yesterday when you're a part of today.