Care Giving Errors & Omissions

What's it really like to "caregive" at home?                                                         Depends on relationship, family unit, resources, income.

Who comes beside and "gives help"?                                            Or will you depend on "outside sources"?

I took this journey with Mom and then husband.                         Daughter in College, Sons lived across country.

Who has given and gave up the most --daughter.  Women continue to be those expected to "caregive".                                            

In the United States, you're "expected" to have Health Care.                                       paid for monthly to "offset" the costs of living as you grow older.

In reality, spouses/partners are the ones providing.

Income for many has stopped.                                                                       Expenses climb.                                                                                 Debt hills and then mountains.

My husband spent 100 days in the Hospital.                                                               Almost all of that time in Critical Intensive Care.                           Home to a Hospital Bed Insurance didn't cover.   

For a little over a month, we had biweekly "visits".                                                           A "medical person" who "checked on" my husband.                      

After two weeks I was told visits would be ending.                                               Training on wound care minimal.

Skin was weak, openings appeared.                                                  Quickly they expanded to one, very long.

           

Memories Stick Like Glue -- the bags did not.

One bag became two, then three and finally four.

They filled with liquid quickly.

He could no longer get up and take care of emptying the bags.

I had 24/7 "duties" and no one to help.

Our oldest son, who lived across the country, never came to visit. When I asked for help, he told me I didn't know how to manage and I made his father sick.

On all sides I was torn apart;Doctors kept saying he needed to gain weight. 

They saw the bags, how they multiplied, until he could no longer do Dr visits and all they saw were an occasional report from a Nurse who came less and less frequently.

BE WARNED. YOUR MEDICAL PLAN IS YOUR LIFELINE.                                          What you receive, how you receive it and if it's even given is strictly done based on "how much you can spend" either from savings, insurance or prepaid programs. 

Told constantly: "Your husband needs to gain weight." 

Those were the "Doctor's Orders" and it became the mantra on every visit which quickly ended as our "time" ran out.

"The Doctor" says this can be done or that can be done.                                          We did not realize "the Dr" was using the inclusions of the Medical Insurance; no compassion or concern involved.

I trusted. I listened. I believed. 

They were the "experts".                                                                                                   I trusted their "professional ability".

They knew. They had to see.                                                                                   They'd cut into him.                                                                                                    A lancing that never should have happened.                                                                  The beginning of the end. 

The Widow's Walk is unplanned and unwanted.                                                         It happens every day.                                                                                                       It's a Sisterhood no one wants to join.