Memories Measured

Time can be so short or very long. 

These past years moved ever so slowly.

 

When I stand and look backwards, 

they actually passed very quickly.

When I looked forward,

it seemed an endless chasm appeared. 

It truly seems like yesterday  

we took that walk 

down the church aisle 

to get married . . . 

Then I walked alongside

our daughter and behind,

as your friends carried you,

honoring your life, 

honoring the man you were,

the memory you continue to be.

I forgot some things 

for your funeral

but I wasn't really expecting 

there to be one. 

You were getting better.

You were coming home. . . 

in a few days.

. 

Then it happened. 

The change. 

The turn around. 

The swift,

slow movement 

towards our separation.

Your never coming home, 

never returning here 

to be with me again.

No. I don't need 

to "let go".

I do not need 

to give away, 

throw away 

EVERYTHING 

about you.

 

It's not a 

constant reminder 

it's will always be 

a part of  MY life. 

As time moves forward, 

I take a little here, a little there

to shelters and other places,

 

I think some man will benefit 

from having "new" clothes 

even if there are 

some small signs

of wear and use.

We've always given to others.

It was a part of our life

Part of who we were 

separately and together. 
This time would be no different. 

If there remains any visible signs

of everyday life as it used to be, 

what difference is that from 

living with family heirlooms 

generation to generation?

It is my life.

Was our life. 

Hurts no one.

Helps me.

And that has become 

a part of my mourning, 

as individual as I am, 

always have been. 

A long term widow?  

A long term individual, wife, 

mother and daughter.

(written originally 06/17/15)